how would YOU open the Strait of Hormuz? Wrong answers only

[mahatmakanejeeves]

Henry Mance
‪@henrymance.ft.com‬

how would YOU open the Strait of Hormuz? Wrong answers only
9:49 AM · Mar 16, 2026

how would YOU open the Strait of Hormuz? Wrong answers only

— Henry Mance (@henrymance.ft.com) 2026-03-16T13:49:17.804Z

Ransacked Hat
‪@kenwhite.bsky.social‬

‪Henry Mance‬
‪@henrymance.ft.com‬
· 9h

how would YOU open the Strait of Hormuz? Wrong answers only
1:13 PM · Mar 16, 2026

— We No Longer “Need” Popehat (@kenwhite.bsky.social) 2026-03-16T17:13:36.942Z

[NoMoreRepugs]

1. Maybe the big water valves TrumpenFuhrer opened to put out the

California wildfires can somehow be moved to the Middle East?

[FadedMullet]

2. Dig that gigantic, miles long ship canal through Oman, the one that goes through a mountain range. Shouild be....

.........easy if we use nukes. No?

[Johonny]

3. Bomb the gulf states

To encourage them to flee to safety through the straits. Nothing encourages bravery like a few bombs.

[bucolic_frolic]

4. Front-end loader and very big can opener /nt

[IA8IT]

5. 400 mile long Bellagio Fountain that supertankers could hide behind.

[Goonch]

6. ;-{)..........

[EarthFirst]

7. Have we tried Chuck Norris yet?

Hegseth: “You dumb son of a bitch! That’s just crazy enough to work!”

“GET CHUCK ON THE PHONE!!!1”

[OhioBlue]

8. MAGA Boat parade should work

[wnylib]

11. Best answer so far.

[Dread Pirate Roberts]

9. With that wierd thing on a Swiss Army Knife?

That one thing on them that you can't figure out what exactly it does? Maybe it'll open the straits...or a can of spam.

[taxi]

10. First of all and the biggest most important thing is a name change

Nobody likes words that don't mean anything. Then it would have to be moved closer to Palm Beach where it can be more closely monitored. Of course toll gates on both ends and express lanes would require expedited construction and of course no bid contracts can be awarded for that.

[Abolishinist]

16. The Strait of America!

[Sneederbunk]

12. Give TSF to Iran.

[Enter stage left]

13. A corkscrew?

[surfered]

14. Give Trump, Hegseth, and Rubio to Iran in exchange for opening it

[Dan]

15. It won't happen, but this is what I would do:

1. Impeach and remove Donald Trump and members of his Cabinet.
2. Advise Israel that our continued support would be dependent on their behavior with their middle-east Neighbors.
3. I would immediately remove the military threat to Iran.
4. I would apologize - world wide for actions taken against Iran.
5. I would open up negotiations with Iran - everything on the table.
6. I would treat Iran as an equal.
7. I would with Iran agreement - try to get a third party Country as a mediator.
8. I would agree to some indemnity.

That's what I would do - and I suspect that something like that is going to happen anyway.

[Jack Valentino]

17. STOP the Epstein Files Fury War! (but that's the RIGHT answer, except

it might not work anymore....)

[Johonny]

18. Declare America has switched sides and bomb

Israel. Trump announces, "we have always been Iran's biggest ally. We love the Iranian people. Why, I was talking to Laura Loomer just the other day. She said, sir, the Islam in Iran is very strong. Very Strong. We like that. Anyway, this type of turn heel stuff always works in wrestling, so I thought we'd give it a go. Nothing bad can happen, only good can happen. Probably. Anyway, more land in Iran than Israel. More space for new Golf courses. Things are going to be great."

[The Bopper]

19. Send in

The stealth submarine oil tankers.

[uncle ray]

20. nothing short of an aircraft carrier with the bigliest "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner.

[sarisataka]

21. Rename it Strait of America

Then no one can claim the Strait of Hormuz is closed

Immediately have the newly formed Board of the Strait of America re-rename it the Trump Strait if America then vote to close it for renovations.

[flvegan]

22. First, change the name to The Ambiguously Gay Channel of Hormuz

(not that there's anything wrong with that)

I figure the..."religiously intolerant" (bigots) will just have to abandon the whole idea of any involvement with such a named place.

My other thoughts were:

The Jeffrey Epstein Didn't Kill Himself Canal of Hormuz
The Donald J Trump Rapes Little Girls Because His Micropenis Has a Sad Sound of Hormuz
and for the immature child in all of us,
The Your Mom is a Strait Filthy Hormuz