FBI Agents Watch In Silence As Kash Patel Gets Ass Kicked By UFC Fighter

[Zorro]

QUANTICO, VA—Wincing as the bureau’s director breathlessly staggered to his feet during their first training seminar with professional MMA athletes, a group of FBI agents reportedly watched in silence over the weekend as Kash Patel got his ass kicked by a UFC fighter.

According to sources, the agents shifted uncomfortably on the sidelines of a makeshift octagon at the FBI Academy gym while reigning UFC lightweight champion Justin Gaethje pummeled Patel with a barrage of jabs, hooks, and leg kicks in a demonstration meant to improve the agents’ effectiveness in the field.

Eyewitnesses confirmed that several agents exhaled sharply as the visibly woozy Patel was bowled over for a protracted ground-and-pound from the seasoned fighter, with Patel emitting a ragged squealing sound as Gaethje’s elbow repeatedly struck him in the solar plexus.

A hoarse Patel is said to have gasped, “See how he’s putting me in this triangle choke?” to the impassive crowd before crossing his eyes and falling completely limp.

At press time, several agents were seen exchanging glances of slight concern after the bruised, urine-soaked Kash Patel had not stirred from unconsciousness for three minutes.

https://theonion.com/fbi-agents-watch-in-silence-as-kash-patel-gets-ass-kicked-by-ufc-fighter/

[jls4561]

1. I was sooo hoping this was not from the Onion.

[rzemanfl]

2. +1. n/t

[lame54]

3. Can't they arrange it for real?

[Maninacan]

4. You had me

Onion ,The thin green line.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

5. I'd pay to see that