Spurious News: Trump caught hitchhiking as "Qatar Force One" breaks down in flight!
FAYETTEVILLE, NC (Spurious News Network) -- Motorists traveling near the Burger King on US 301 near the airport in "Fayettenam" were shocked and amazed to see King Donald Trump standing beside the highway with a Triple Whopper in one hand and a "Palm Beach or Bust!" sign in the other. People yelled various things at him as he waited for a ride. Some were positive, yelling "We love you, President Trump!" or "We're with you all the way!" Others yelled things like "you're the reason gas is four bucks a gallon, motherfucker!" and "when are you going to register as a sex offender?"
The reason he was there is very simple: the new presidential plane, which was gifted to him by Qatar, completely stopped running while it was in the air.
"This has never happened to me," said Colonel Frank Soderstrom, the presidential Boeing 747 pilot who was in command of the aircraft at the time of the incident. "We were about 40 miles north of Raleigh-Durham International Airport on our first trip in this jet with the president aboard when all four engines quit at once. They wouldn't restart. We don't know why yet, but there's a crew of Air Force mechanics from Pope Army Airfield over here right now trying to get it started again. The Boeing 747 is a good glider so making Fayetteville was no problem at all, and Fayetteville Regional Airport has enough runway to get us out of here once we've fixed the jet. It's not the in-flight shutdown that's the problem. We do simulator training regularly and there's always at least one all-engines-out scenario per training session. The real strangeness happened after we landed. President Trump jumped out of his seat the second the jet stopped. He yelled out something like 'I saw a Burger King when we were coming in here and I'm hungry' before he opened the door and jumped out before the airport workers could bring up an airstair. This worried us a little because the main deck doors on this jet are fifteen feet above the ground, but he managed to survive the fall. Once he was able to get up, he took off running toward the 301 and we haven't seen him since."
When asked if they knew why this aircraft would suffer a complete shutdown in flight, the Qatari Embassy in Washington, DC, replied, "of course it shut down in flight. That's why we gave it to Donald Trump. It was cheaper than having to fix whatever's wrong with it."