General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsMy dad has been referred to a palliative facility for hospice care.
The doctors have been wonderfully direct, honest, and compassionate simultaneously. It's clear we're talking days not weeks or months. Everyone involved is clear eyed about that.
He's been telling anyone who enters his hospital room that he's celebrating his 60 year 6 month anniversary with the woman of his dreams today. I have never taken my good fortune to be his daughter for granted a single day of my life. We are a no drama warm progressive family and no one could hand pick better. If you're religious, we've been blessed. If you're not, the draw of the universe fell in our favor.
We're talking about a man who survived polio in 1954, the Vietnam war in 1969, throat cancer in 1995, bladder cancer in 2006, a heart valve replacement in 2013 and lung cancer gets him in the end. He's my Energizer Bunny, my inspiration, my biggest cheerleader, and the best model of what it means to be a patriot. The man showed up at every No King's Rally, including the most recent one on March 28 after his terminal diagnosis. Because that's how important the future of our country is.
But GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!!!! I really wanted him to witness Trump's demise before he left this earth. And I know he did too...(and so do the lot of his absolutely phenomenal can't say enough good things about them care team - no secrets in the PCU!)
Thanks for listening. I'm the one holding the family together right now so just needed to let it out somewhere. Whew
MustLoveBeagles
(17,996 posts)At least he lived a good life. Hugs and condolences to you. I'll send you some healing vibes.
ms liberty
(11,433 posts)democrank
(12,703 posts)Treasure every moment you have with him. Sending strength and love.
Maeve
(43,524 posts)I was the only one with my mom and she went moments after I was told she was dying (less than 24 hours after the fall that killed her).
Treasure the time you have left, and don't second guess any decisions.
May you and your family bask in the love you have for each other and may memory be a blessing now and in the future.
littlemissmartypants
(35,056 posts)mcar
(46,494 posts)He sounds like a wonderful man - and you are wonderful kid! I've been in your shoes. It's so hard. But he's in the right place and surrounded by love.
And hey, maybe his wish will come true!
SheltieLover
(82,219 posts)AltairIV
(1,074 posts)Your father sounds like a wonderful man. as time passes may your memories of him warm your heart.
virgdem
(2,328 posts)as you care for your Dad in his last days.❤️
brer cat
(27,738 posts)I'm sending my best wishes for comfort and peace for him as he completes this journey, as well as for you and your family.
malaise
(298,874 posts)I wish him peace and offer you and yours comfort.
RT Atlanta
(2,850 posts)cherish the time you have.
Figarosmom
(14,260 posts)To spend his life with. I'm sure he's secure in knowing you and the rest of your family will be successful in ridding our nation of the orange menace. Let him rest now. Love and Peace.
BComplex
(9,999 posts)What a remarkable man, and what a remarkable family he and your mom built together. I'm sending warm and supportive hugs to you through the ether here, and a special hug to your dad for all he has done.
Ninga
(9,041 posts)a loving offspring- its all we can hope for. A blessing indeed. Peace be with your Dad and your family. May the days ahead
land gently.
Grim Chieftain
(2,220 posts)as you and your loved ones face this difficult time. You are in my thoughts, Pacifist Patriot.
mgardener
(2,431 posts)calimary
(91,196 posts)(((((((((((( * )))))))))))).
Glad you posted this here. I know theres TONS of sympathy, empathy, and solidarity surrounding you from us at DU.
Youre exactly the kind of support he needs right now. And youre being loving and supportive as can be. Just know youre loved and cared about, ESPECIALLY with this difficult journey ahead of you. Please do post how its going, and keep us updated as much as you can (although I know you have other priorities on your mind right now). Everybody here will understand.
Sending lots of hugs and vibes of strength.
And if itll help, remember what DUer Skittles once said: someones always here. You wont be going through this alone.
cate94
(3,130 posts)He sounds like a wonderful man. May his passing be peaceful.
AllaN01Bear
(29,966 posts)redwitch
(15,284 posts)A virtual hug to you friend.
MLAA
(19,831 posts)at once until the entire lot of them are gone. Im not religious but I certainly believe strongly in the beyond. ❤️
In the mean time may his passing be gentle and Im sending your family the warmest wishes and hugs.
JoseBalow
(9,832 posts)I know how painful and difficult this time is for you. I very recently went through a similar situation with my partner, and there is not much that can be said to help make it any better. Try to take some comfort in knowing that you are not alone, and there are people who care.
Please try to make the effort to be kind to yourself.
Permanut
(8,669 posts)I'm sorry for your loss; kind thoughts coming your way, special delivery.
JoseBalow
(9,832 posts)It's hard to carry the weight alone.
Permanut
(8,669 posts)Pacifist Patriot
(25,221 posts)I'm very sorry for your loss, yes, words fail, don't they?
HeartsCanHope
(1,774 posts)Will be keeping you all in my thoughts.
Danmel
(5,817 posts)Cherish the time you have together .
Katinfl
(918 posts)You will have wonderful memories to get you through the tough days ahead.
applegrove
(133,478 posts)GentryDixon
(3,159 posts)yellow dahlia
(6,712 posts)Thank you for sharing a little bit of your dad with us.
ZDU
(1,515 posts)... and sending waves of compassion and healing to you and your loved ones too
markie
(24,096 posts)Permanut
(8,669 posts)and what a guy. We're never ready for these cycles of life. We celebrate him and his life now, and we will celebrate for him later.
electric_blue68
(27,668 posts)He's gone through a lot.
Sounds like a great guy.
Treasure each last moments togther.
Recall the best times.
Gentle
(I've been there)
a kennedy
(36,609 posts)Its all been said here
.savor the good times, let him know how much he means to you, and just love him. 🙏🏻 ♥️
hamsterjill
(17,905 posts)To have raised a daughter like you. Family is everything. The definition of family can be whatever anyone chooses it to be, whether biological or whatever.
I am so sorry for your situation. Like you, I had a dad that I looked up to and his loss was a hard thing. I wish your father a safe and peaceful passing when that time comes. Cherish every minute. Say what needs to be said, if anything. And just love one another.
Peace and comfort to you
senseandsensibility
(25,862 posts)I hope you and your dad can find both. Hang in there, Pacific Patriot.
Raine
(31,247 posts)much love to you and your family and peace to him as he takes this journey.
sinkingfeeling
(58,184 posts)LetMyPeopleVote
(183,297 posts)He had been in a hospital for several months. The palliative care doctors came in and recommended hospice. My kids and my ex-wife sort of nominated me to explain to my ex-mother-in-law and ex-father-in-law what this meant. The palliative care doctors were great but this was still no fun
The hospice was great. I remember making daily trips. My ex-mother-in-law basically camped out at the hospice. My ex-father-in-law had worked for former mayor Sylvester Turner who came to visit him. There is a concept in hospice care of the last good day. My ex-father in law's last good day was when Mayor Turner came to the Hospice. My ex-father-in-law was alert and had a great visit. The next day he declined drastically and had passed within the week.
I am sorry for your father. Hopefully you will get to spend some time with him at the hospice.
niyad
(134,820 posts)Vibes for a gentle crossing, and peace and healing for all of you.
And, who knows, he may still see the orange scum gone!
c-rational
(3,228 posts)Skittles
(173,417 posts)area51
(12,770 posts)Dear_Prudence
(1,205 posts)We must all lay our burden down sometime-when we falter and at life's end. We find peace in the faith that our friends, family, and community, including the DU community, will carry on in our absence. I wish you and your family peace during this difficult time. Thank you for sharing your dad's story, beautiful.
seta1950
(975 posts)My husband has stage 4 that has metastasized to his bones, take one step at a time and dead breaths. Im sorry 😢
Pacifist Patriot
(25,221 posts)It's a shifty boat to be in, isn't?
flamingdem
(40,989 posts)There may still be time. We might get some clarity on the future soon. There might be real hope.
state of stupid
(233 posts)then with my father-in-law, then with my mother-in-law, then with my wife. I have a niece for
my final days, but she does not like talking about it. Please remember that this is not about you,
it is about them. Do everything you can in this time to remember who they are/were and celebrate
every second you can with no hesitation or regret. When it is all said and done, they will live on in
your and everyone who loved them memories. The pain stings every now and then but the memories
of whom they were and what they stood for erases a lot that pain and replaces it with a contentment
that cannot be explained, only felt.
Pacifist Patriot
(25,221 posts)It's all about what he needs and wants right now.
We lost my father-in-law a year and a half ago. It never gets easier, just different circumstances each time.
LoisB
(13,679 posts)The Universe take good care of him.
biocube
(282 posts)gademocrat7
(12,061 posts)To you and your family.
essaynnc
(998 posts)Warm thoughts and much strength to the both of you.
mwmisses4289
(4,957 posts)spanone
(142,144 posts)70sEraVet
(5,708 posts)Sounds like the world is losing one of its good ones!
I hope that when its my time, I will have deserved the love of my children as your father obviously has!
That's really the whole point, isn't it? To have loved, and been loved, well.
Faux pas
(16,567 posts)the best Universal Vibes!