Trump Covers Up Low State Fair Attendance By Calling In Bomb Threat

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—Claiming there were strings of explosive devices planted throughout the National Mall, President Donald Trump reportedly attempt to cover up low attendance at the Great American State Fair this week by calling in a bomb threat.

“There’s a series of explosives in unmarked duffel bags all across the fairgrounds, which are beautiful by the way, so you’d better evacuate everyone as fast as you can, don’t even bother stopping to count how many people there are,” Trump said from his Oval Office phone, pinching his nose in an effort to disguise his voice.

“You’ll regret it big time if all the attendees, however many there may possibly be, don’t flee back to their homes this instant. This incredibly successful and beloved event is officially over!”

According to sources, the president concluded the warning by casually stating his name was Sleepy Joe Biden and then hanging up the receiver.

https://theonion.com/trump-covers-up-low-state-fair-attendance-by-calling-in-bomb-threat/

[The Blue Flower]

1. He's been looking half dead lately

Especially the puffiness around his eyes.

[SergeStorms]

2. Adderall addiction will do that to you.

How his heart hasn't exploded yet is beyond anyone's understanding.

[Totally Tunsie]

3. "Thank you for your attention to this matter."

[eppur_se_muova]

4. Double-checking the link, because this sounds just too believable. nt