I'm a dumbass (contains non-gory injury photo).

[LuckyCharms]

Every Sunday, the woman down the street has been calling my wife at about 200PM for 3 years...to bring my dog over to her house for a "nail appointment". She did my dogs nails, groomed him, and sometimes even bathed him She was in love with my pup.

We met this woman about 15 years ago when we got flooded. She had to demolish their entire first floor and rebuild. I went over there and demolished her tub and tub surround for her...and we have been friends with her ever since.

My wife told me this morning that she "had a limb come down", so I told my wife that I would go and take care of it. My wife had a fit and told me not to, because I'm suffering from a bit of depression. and she didn't want me doing anything remotely dangerous.

I went down there anyway with a pole chain saw, a reciprocating saw with a pruning blade, and a couple of pruners.

Well, it wasn't just a limb, it was half of the freaking tree and it took me about 5 hours to take care of.

I had a saw over my head, and I thought I was positioned correctly while cutting off a limb. I was wrong. It was a 5 or 6 inch thick limb and there was some tension on it that I didn't notice because...well, I'm a fucking dumbass.

When it fell, it headed toward my eyes and would have resulted in bad things if I didn't get my arm up quick enough to divert it away from my face.

Below is a pic of part of the result. I won't show you the whole injury, because I don't want to get my thread locked.The bruises run up to my armpit and onto my chest.

I'm pretty proud of myself for my cat-like reflexes while pushing age 68. I'm not proud of the fact that I'm a dumb fuck.

[Kali]

1. LOL

I just figure if I get near trees, brush, fences I m going to look like that.
Agree, good reflexes and that it's not your face.

[LuckyCharms]

3. It took me so long because...

I like to do a perfect job, so I meticulously chewed all of the bark off all of the limbs.

That was a bad idea, because tree bark is very constipating.

I wish I had known that before eating all of the bark.

[MLAA]

33. That's what you get for barking up the wrong tree! 😂😬

[LuckyCharms]

38. You're right! You and me...we agree about that!

[mwmisses4289]

57. Should have invited this little guy to help you chomp the tree bark.

https://m.youtube.com/shorts/1F9x8ieKfUQ

Elvis the wobbly cat

[TexLaProgressive]

61. Good you still have your sense of humor

Take good care of the abrasion.

[irisblue]

2. Hard hat or a helmet next time with spotters

[LuckyCharms]

4. Yep. I have a hardhat too. I should have used it.

[TommieMommy]

5. Wow 😳 it could have been so worse. You will be ok. 👍👍

[sinkingfeeling]

6. I think your Lucky Charms worked for you.

[AllaN01Bear]

7. eek.

[Solly Mack]

8. Stop that!

Glad you're OK.

[LuckyCharms]

9. OK, but...

can I still chew the bark off the limbs?

[Solly Mack]

10. Of course. Good dental hygiene is important.

[LuckyCharms]

11. I ate some of the grass too...

It contains a special type of digestive fiber that combats the constipation caused by the bark.

[Solly Mack]

12. Well balanced diets are the best.

[LuckyCharms]

13. I eat bugs too.

For the vitamin and mineral content.

[Solly Mack]

14. Is that you, Euell?

[LuckyCharms]

15. Solly, I'm not sure who Euell is...

but I also wanted to explain to you that this tree was close to the concrete curb.

Every time I stepped over that curb, I would look at that concrete longingly, and think "You know, I bet that tastes pretty damn good. I'm going to have to try eating that sometime".

I couldn't resist after awhile, and I eventually took a bite.

Unfortunately, it wore down my front teeth, and now every time I smiled at someone today, they would look at my teeth and call me "nubby".

[Solly Mack]

16. Euell Gibbons, Grape Nuts fame, naturalist and writer.

Well, Nubby, bet that added some spice in your life.

[LuckyCharms]

18. I remember him!

He had nubby teeth too!

Didn't his friends used to jokingly call him "the nubster"?

Or am I thinking of someone else?

[Solly Mack]

19. He did forage for plants and berries, and he would eat the edible parts pine trees, so maybe.

He was an early 'health food" champion. So organic it bloomed in your belly.

[LuckyCharms]

20. Concrete blooms in your belly too!

Did you know that?

[Solly Mack]

21. I did not.

Not enough ruffage in the world to help with that.

[LuckyCharms]

22. Didn't we have some kind of crazy conversation like this

years ago?

[Solly Mack]

23. Probably. Shit happens. Sometimes again and again.

[LuckyCharms]

24. Oh, one more thing...

When my teeth get really worn down, I superglue Chiclets to the nubs, but then people insult me and say I'm "long in the tooth".

[Solly Mack]

25. But always minty fresh!

[LuckyCharms]

26. Yes, until I start gnawing on the bark again.

[Solly Mack]

27. Only natural considering Chiclets are made from chicle.

[LuckyCharms]

28. You're right, and you taught me something!

I never heard that word in my life, and I had to Google it.

[Solly Mack]

29. Someone told me a long while back. I didn't know until then.

It's one of the few things I now know.

[LuckyCharms]

30. Did you know that...

Marijuana is manufactured in the country of Mariju?

[Solly Mack]

31. Do tell.

[LuckyCharms]

32. I just ate...

2 marijuanas.

[Solly Mack]

34. And you didn't share.

[LuckyCharms]

35. I'm sorry. I had a little situation going on here...

[Solly Mack]

37. I keep my handy to prevent that.

[LuckyCharms]

39. Wait just a minute now...

You use...your hand?

[Solly Mack]

41. Move away from the edibles.

[LuckyCharms]

46. I smoke edibles, just to be different.

[Solly Mack]

50. Must stain those Chiclets.

[LuckyCharms]

51. Yes, but I just paint them white again.

With a roller, not a brush.

[Solly Mack]

52. Artistic integrity is important.

[LuckyCharms]

53. I love it when people call my teeth "artistic".

[Solly Mack]

54. Well, folk art to be sure.

[Bumbles]

36. and protein, which is most important while healing.

[LuckyCharms]

43. We agree!

[EverHopeful]

17. Your kindness is special and helps remind us there are still good people in the world

I often find myself saying "How could I be so stupid?" And then usually ask, "How am I still surprised by how stupid I can be?" Then I have a good laugh, as long as there were no injuries.

Heal fast, please. Sending healing vibes.

[hibbing]

40. Yipes

I'm so clumsy and I should not be trusted with any kind of tool. Cut through not one, but two extension cords with a hedge trimmer this spring, using my big brain.
Recover quickly!

[LuckyCharms]

45. Oh wow, I've done that before.

I use everything battery power instead of corded now whenever possible.

Don't worry...that's a pretty common thing to happen with those corded ones!

[Niagara]

42. ALright, that's it

It's time for us to place LuckyCharms in a plastic bubble!


Glad you survived and that you have quick reflexes, Lucky.

[LuckyCharms]

44. Hey wouldja go on down to the Uhaul store and...

pick me up some bubble wrap to eat?



Hi Niagara!

[Niagara]

47. I'll pick up some bubble wrap alright

But it's going to be used as full body armour on you.




Hi Lucky!

I don't know if you remember this but I just ran across this in my Imgur account.

[LuckyCharms]

49. I don't remember that! What is that from?

[Niagara]

55. It's from both the 2023 and 2024 Grovelbot's Big Board

2023: https://democraticunderground.com/?com=bigboard&page=3


2024: https://democraticunderground.com/?com=bigboard&page=1

You don't have to look for them but know that they're both on the Big Board.

[warmfeet]

48. Never forget! NT

[The Blue Flower]

56. Two words

Safety goggles.

[mwmisses4289]

58. Very much ouch.

Healing vibes coming your way.

[mountain grammy]

59. "Cat like reflexes" indeed.

Be careful.

[ColoringFool]

60. I think you'll live......with more than a few "I told you so!" 😅🤣😂

[zanana1]

62. I'm glad you were able to stop it from sawing your head off.

We don't want to lose you. Be careful!