Elder-accessible day-to-day technology

[Orrex]

My 93 year old neighbor calls us 10+ times a day to come over and change her channel or because she can't turn her tv on or off. I confess that it's frustrating, but that leads me to my point.

Her tv remote is standard-issue Comcast, with about 40 buttons, while she only needs 0 through 9, volume, channel select, and power. And the buttons are tiny & labeled in ultra-small font.

It's not a question of loneliness driving her to enlist our aid simply for contact; multiple people visit her daily, and she goes out with friends about five days a week, a far more active social schedule than I've ever had.

It's also not a question of intelligence, but she is very intimidated by technology. It took us years to convince her to get a Life Alert pendant because she was afraid that she wouldn't know how to use that single-button device.

I haven't yet done much Googling because, frankly, she has family in town and this feels like something that they should address, but has anyone bought elder-friendly universal remotes that can be operated without eagle eyes and a master's in engineering?

[TommyT139]

1. TV remotes for seniors

...is a whole category of products.

Some come with lanyards, which I'm now thinking is something we need here at my house!

You'll have to set it up for her, but these days TVs usually have on-screen prompts. Just make sure that you know the model to make sure it's compatible.

[Orrex]

2. Thanks for the tip!

I'll look into it!

[MotownPgh]

3. We have comcast with the voice remote

My 94 year old dad just tells it what he wants. We love it. It's the only reason I have comcast. Also I would wager she is some level of afraid and views you as reliable and nice. I can't tell u how many stories of Dad's visitors that don't really talk to him, just watch TV or don't offer to help with anything, like the remote. Not always their fault. She probably doesn't want to put them out but has no problem asking you for the help. You sound nice. 😊

[Orrex]

4. Thank you for the suggestion and the kind words

I need to be honest and say I sometimes lose patience with her--not to her face, but when discussing her with my wife.

Yesterday, for instance, she called us 11 times in 15 minutes for help turning her tv off, then on, then fixing the picture, now the remote won't work, now it's too loud, now she can't hear it, now she can't find Judge Judy, now she can't find the remote.

And that's the routine most days of the week. Over the past ~12 years it has grown tiresome.

But I also know it's not her fault, at least not entirely. She doesn't have the best memory, so even if I show her how to use her remote, she'll forget by tomorrow. My frustration is due in large part to her family--some of whom live just minutes away--for offloading her to my wife and me. And because we're not complete assholes, we try to step up.

She's stubborn and doesn't want to give up the home she's known for 50+ years, nor does she want to lose her independence, but her independence depends entirely on neighbors willing to leap to her aid dozens of times daily.

As for my comment about loneliness, you're probably right that her usual circle of friends can't fix her remote either.

And I should also say that we never complain about helping with emergencies, or when she physically can't do things for herself. it just that a fuzzy tv picture doesn't quite qualify as an emergency!


Thank you again. I've asked her niece to check on the voice-activated remote, and she agrees that it might be a great solution.

[MotownPgh]

5. You are the best angel neighbor

This is tough but I would answer twice a day. Not 11 calls. Also venting to spouse is OK. The truth is if I hadn't sacrificed literally everything to care for dad, he would not be able to stay in his home. His has two other kids that would never.
Back to you. Her picture isn't fuzzy, her eyesight is. I think she probably shouldn't live alone. Only 4% of people over 90 live alone. But in any case, it's not your responsibility . If she calls about tv, tell her you will stop over sometime tomorrow, can't make it today. I had to have pretty firm words with my 96 year old godmother's sons about her needs too. She called me instead of them as well but I was a half hour away.

[No Vested Interest]

6. Her current regular remote can be made useful by fashioning and covering with heavy-duty paper

or soft cardboard all the buttons she will not or should not use.

Just leave exposed the few she should or could use - as above- 0 through 9, volume, channel select, and power.

I saw an example of this on a short Facebook "filler".
The elderly friendly remote sounds good too.

[Orrex]

7. That's a nice idea, though I don't think she'd go for it.

It's hard to explain, but it would bug the hell out of her to have cardboard (or whatever) on the remote. She nearly lost her mind a few years ago when a small piece of my downspout was loose and hanging in an unsightly manner, so a change to her interior decor would be unacceptable.

I want to reiterate that the real problem is that her family does the bare minimum for her, and she relies on us and other neighbors for everything. She calls my wife four or five times a day to ask what day it is, and that's usually four or five calls in a row. She's really past the point where she should be living alone, but she won't budge and her family is content to let her sponge off of her neighbors.

Even if that means us changing the channel and adjusting the volume and turning the tv on or off off for her 20 times daily.