Welcome to DU! The truly grassroots left-of-center political community where regular people, not algorithms, drive the discussions and set the standards. Join the community: Create a free account Support DU (and get rid of ads!): Become a Star Member Latest Breaking News Editorials & Other Articles General Discussion The DU Lounge All Forums Issue Forums Culture Forums Alliance Forums Region Forums Support Forums Help & Search

DebJ

(7,699 posts)
5. Thank you everyone. I think the answer is to apply for guardianship.
Tue Feb 16, 2016, 12:55 AM
Feb 2016

My poor SIL's is so overwhelmed, I'm going to drive the three hours to her house and do all the digging and checking out and getting paper work processed. A guardianship can take a month or two to process, so we need to get it in the works. We still don't know my ill SIL's eventual capacity/brain damage, and at any rate, this will be a very long process of healing.

The sister in law who was seeking POA also takes care of an 89 year old mother in law who is legally blind and insists on living by herself, so poor Mary goes to her house several times a week to see that she can eat, to get her mail and read it to her, to pay her bills, and do all else. Plus Mary has two adult children she sees and two grandchildren and works full time. This new situation is just overload for her.

The sister in law who suffered the brain hemorrhage is the warm, kind one who keeps the family together. The good hearted, forgiving one. Yet, three years ago, she had a sudden brain aneurysm and was found on her bathroom floor unconscious. She made a miraculous recovery, with very little permanent suffering, except they had to put a shunt in her head. The next year, her 49 year old fiance, with whom she had lived for 7 years, suddenly dropped dead in their bedroom. He was such a warm, kind, spiritual and philosophical man that everyone loved, that hundreds came to his funeral. Then, 18 months later, on Christmas Day, 2 policemen came to my SILs house to tell her that her son was found dead in his jail cell. Her son had become a drug user by his late teens, and only in his late 20s was he diagnosed with bipolar disorder.... too late, he was hooked on all the horrible stuff. Before we could even bury her son, 3 days later, the church that had bought her rental home and large lot it was located on gave her notice that she had til 1/31 to move out... in the dead of winter in Jersey. That's a bit much to handle while trying to bury a son. Good old churches, so reliable. Then, on the 25th, she had seizures at work and became unconscious. This shit always happens to GOOD people, you know? Her own health, then losing her fiance, her son, and her home of many years... and she had just lost her mother not too long before that. She has only three siblings now, and some nieces and nephews.

Those of you who pray, prayers are always appreciated. Prayer works.

Thanks.

On edit: so we are all working together to move her out of her home and store her things at a friend's house while she is in the hospital, so her homecoming will be pretty rough. God, she is such a warm and wonderful and supportive person. A genuine loss to the world.

Recommendations

0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):

Latest Discussions»Region Forums»New Jersey»Does anyone know if a sin...»Reply #5