It's obvious to the most casual observer that he needs help, but he's refusing it. You are doing what you can to help out, but you are (to coin a phrase) no spring chicken yourself and can only help so much.
Others have made some good suggestions. Adult Protective Services may be your best option.
People of his generation tend to be incredibly stubborn about accepting help, especially about anything connected to these aging issues. I think it's in large part because thirty or so years ago when their parents got old, the options were mostly awful, and too many of them went into dreadful nursing homes, something people like your dad is desperate to avoid.
For those of us somewhat younger (and I'm 68 myself), we've been through or are going through what you've described, and we are determined to avoid it ourselves. Meanwhile, people like yourself are still dealing with extremely elderly parents, and there's no good solution.
In such circumstances I would often advise someone to tell a person (your dad in this case) that you won't help out until he acknowledges that he needs help. That's so easy to say, and of course it doesn't address the very real family dynamics at work here. All you can do is to keep on pushing him to accept appropriate help.
I can only offer sympathy and compassion and hope it all works out in the end.
Edit history
Recommendations
0 members have recommended this reply (displayed in chronological order):
= new reply since forum marked as read